In the Rain I Continue to Search

The 3am Poo Drama

I don’t mind the rain, but my little Steve does. It was 3am, and there he was barking, Steve barking in the night means, mmm Mummy I need a pooh, I did feel guilty as goodness knows as to what time I passed out on the sofa, and I have no recall of letting them out for their last wee-wee. As I carried Steve outside into the rain, I realized I was wearing no shoes, not even my tired rubber ones, so my feet sank into the mud, and then we made it to the shed where there was shelter so that Steve could pooh in the dry. He took so long; why, I say why do some dogs have to sniff then do a full 360 to turn, then sniff again and make sure that they pooh in exactly the right place. I put Steve back in the house and decided to put my muddy feet in the swimming pool; the swimming pool was on the turn, meaning it was starting to go green; well, I hadn’t cleaned it, I hadn’t chlorinated it, I had done nothing.

Poolside Sobbing & Slapping

I sat there in the pouring rain, with my muddy feet in the pool and I began just sobbing. I then had to slap myself, and then I marched into the house. I went straight upstairs and had a full stand up hot shower. Then I can’t explain where my energy came from; by 5am, I had done a load of washing, I had clothes in the tumble dryer, and I had washed up. The rain was still pouring down and by 7am, all my emails were done and my orders printed and by 7:30am, my mobile phone was all clingfilmed up, and I was ready to go searching again.

Gordon’s Birthday

Today was the 1^st of March, it was Gordon’s Birthday. “Happy birthday,” I typed. “Thanks,” he typed, and that was that.

Kev’s Rainy Trek

I put Kev’s little parker coat on him, and off we went, I decided to take a totally different route, and we headed towards the river. George always loved the river. He actually loved everywhere that was freedom. He just loved the campo area, the forests, and everything about nature. We parked up and got out of the car in the pouring rain; it was so windy, I actually had to shout for Kev to hear me, “Find George, come on, let’s find George.” As normal, I just followed Kev’s lead, and we walked, Kev once again sniffing at every turn, and before we knew it, I had no idea where the car was. We were in the thick of the campo now and the sadness seeing how there were so many dogs tied to trees in people’s gardens with no shelter whatsoever. It was more than sadness, the feeling of knowing there was nothing that I could do about it, yet if I dug so deep inside me, I knew I could do something about it. I could break in and untie the dog and take it home. Then the realism hits (hhmmmm, so I have basically seen over 100 dogs in this terrible situation since I began searching for George).

Kev the Clever Boy

I asked Kev to take me back to the car, and the clever little boy did it; the guilt of looking at him on the car seat next to me made me cry, he was soaked, OK I was, yet this little boy had no choice in the matter. I went straight home and gave him a very warm bath and then a blow-dry.

Posters in the Storm

I then met TNT and began sticking the A4 posters to all the bins that I knew of; it was so difficult as the rain was so heavy and the wind was so very strong. Bin after bin, then tree after tree.

Each Poster Broke Me

I had never felt so alone in all my life, yet I wasn’t alone as I had so much support, yet this particular day I totally broke; I had stuck so many posters up of George, and you need to understand that every poster that I put up I was looking into the eyes of my beautiful baby my George that I loved so dearly, so very much. To others, it was just about putting up a poster, yet for me, every poster that I sellotaped or stapled was a picture of George. It was also how I felt that the picture that I had taken of George was a happy day and little did I know that I would now be using it in this situation.

Clingfilm Comedy & Car Rescue

My phone started ringing; it was Gordon; my phone was still covered in cling film, and the struggle to answer was rather comical. I managed it, and all I could hear was, “Where are you? Get home as I am coming to get you; we are going to get your car back.”

So, I went home, and that is exactly what we did. I have known Gordon for a few years now, and he knew I wasn’t liking one bit of using Maxine’s car. We collected my car, and Kermit came round, and between Gordon and Kermit, they assured me that my car had always smoked and because it was old that there was nothing to worry about. So, we then dropped Maxine’s rather muddy car off back to Claudia.

Goodbyes & Guilty Truths

Gordon and Kermit then left, and I said a big goodbye to Kermit as tomorrow he was flying back to the UK. I hope my hug felt loving to him as sometimes I know I come across a cold. To me, Kermit is like a big brother.

Sue then messaged: Ishy was cremated, and we have her on the mantelpiece with her collar, then came the photo. Gosh, the total shock and having to take into consideration of other people’s loss, their sadness, and everything was so difficult. Yet, I will now tell you how absolutely disgusted I am and always will be with myself as these were my real thoughts: you are so lucky as you know where your baby is. I have admitted this to Sue, and I am ashamed of myself; however, if we could control our real feelings, life would be so much easier, so please try to forgive me.

Grapes, Thunder and Jeremy

So, tonight was another night of grapes for dinner and hoping for the sleeping grape to kick in. It didn’t as the storms continued. The lighting was like a disco in the room. The thunder actually made Jeremy pooh himself (thankfully on the tiled floor and not the rug); however, needless to say, after scooping the pooh up into a bag, there was a slight retch and then a flow. Uuuffff.

Finally, Sleep

It was actually 6am the biggest sleep in ever, saying that I don’t think we went to sleep until 3am; as I peeled myself from the sofa, I felt as if someone had cut pieces away from my body; my stomach was actually sucked in, without me even breathing in. As I walked over to the kitchen, I looked around the house,

The Shit Pit House

...and all I could see was a mess. My beautiful little home didn’t even look like my home anymore, I then looked at all the dogs, and one good thing with dogs is that they don’t give a care in the world to what state your home is in or to what you look like. This brought a smile to my face, and I said out loud, “Oh dear boys, our house looks like a shit pit.” I then made myself a cup of tea and went upstairs to sort my emails and print the day’s orders.

Kerry's Call & Wedding Dress Hope

It was now 8am, and my phone was ringing; it was Kerry. “Mum, are you ok?” she asked. “I think so, darling,” I said. Kerry then told me how she had booked a flight for her boyfriend Martyn to come over; Kerry was desperate to fly over herself; however, she had no holiday left due to the fact that she had already booked a couple of flights to come over within the next upcoming weeks. Kerry had booked her flights to come to Spain for us to go wedding dress shopping. This was a delicate situation as the money that I had saved for Kerry’s wedding dress was now up on Facebook as a reward for finding George.

Words That Fall Flat

Kerry and I spoke for well over an hour, it was always so difficult to take in the words that people said to me,

You will find him
You have been through worse
You must eat
Today is the day that you will find him

Get Some Rest

I don’t know what day it was or as to where I was, yet I remember saying this to Claudia: “If we don’t find my George, I don’t think that I will ever be the same person again.” Claudia gave no words, and we just continued walking.

Another False Hope

It was now 10am, and Kerry was calling again “mum, you must go to La Trocha right now,” said Kerry. “Why?” I asked. “Mum, the lady that took the photo of George, just called me to say that she is at La Trocha, and she has just seen a little dog running around the roundabout at La Trocha.” “Bye,” I said.

Off I went, gosh, the thoughts going around and round my head, why did she call Kerry in the UK and not me, why isn’t she waiting at La Trocha for me?

La Trocha Breakdown

Yes, it was the la trocha dog, I called Kerry, and I just broke. Kerry and I became all heated and angry, as the La Trocha dog looks nothing like George; for one, it is long-haired, it is also twice the size of George, and yet this lady was the one that had taken the photo of George. Plus, why call Kerry in the UK? Why had this lady never accepted my friend request on Facebook.

Kerry told me to go home and that she would call me in 20 minutes. We had such a long call our conversation now was becoming extreme, “They have him, mum,” said Kerry. Then Kerry actually broke down sobbing on the phone. “Why did she call me mum, she said. What if I hadn’t answered mum?” she said, sobbing. “I know, darling, we will sort this,” I said.

Storms and Screws

As I came off the phone, TNT messaged, so off I went, then I came home, and Gordon messaged. He told me how he was now sharing all posts of missing George to all the buy-sell and swap groups; as we were messaging, I asked if he could pop to mine as I had lots of storm damage and I need a few things repaired. “On the way,” he typed.

Bloody hell, as soon as he had typed on the way, the heavens opened again, wow it was totally amazing, boom went the thunder, and the wind was so fierce it was actually rather scary. I opened the gate, and Gordon drove in, “Holy shit, Christine, look, your outhouse roof is taking off,” yelled Gordon. “Quick, get the ladder,” I said. Now, this was like a movie, Gordon was up the ladder, and I was passing him breeze blocks to put on the roof and hold it down. I was also skidding in the mud, and Gordon was fighting to actually stay on the ladder; it was one of those moments where you had to be there to fully understand. We then went down to the bottom field, and we watched as things were blowing into the next-door property. Now totally soaking wet, we went into the house. The funny thing was that the moment that we went into the house, the storm stopped; just like magic, it was all over.

The Cage and the Apology

As we sat there talking with a hot cup of tea, I told Gordon how I was now going to walk to the lady’s house and ask about why the cage and blanket had gone, as now I had the perfect opportunity to suggest it must have blown away in the wind. Gordon pointed out how I had blatantly accused her best friends of taking George. “Oh yes, I must apologise to her for that tee hee,” I said.

The Blanket and the Shame

The great thing with true mates is that I didn’t have to thank him for all he had done today helping me. Gordon just left, and off I went across the campo to the lady’s house.

“HELLO,” I shouted. I only had to shout 6 times, and then the lady appeared. “The cage, everything has gone,” I said. “Maybe it blew away in the wind,” I said. “No, I have the blanket in my shed and Paco, my neighbour took the cage,” she said. “Why?” I asked.

“My neighbour saw someone trying to steal the cage, so he took it,” she said. “Do you want his blanket back?” she asked. “Yes, please,” I said. I carefully watched as she went to her shed and got it for me. I then had to apologise for accusing her friends of taking George and explained how my mind was acting irrationally. I actually meant every word as I actually knew that my mind was thinking irrationally as even at this precise moment, I still couldn’t understand how the neighbour had taken the cage and as to how George’s blanket was in her shed.

The Walk Back

I then walked back across the fields carrying George’s huge orange blanket. I was slopping in the mud and sobbing all the way. I was actually thinking at this moment as to how maybe I am going mad.

You’re Not Going Mad

As soon as I was home, I called Kerry, we went over and over everything again. “You are not going mad, mum; it doesn’t add up,” she said. Kerry then told me how she had ordered all collars for my dogs and name tags for all of them, including George.

The Collar Question

I know that right now; if you are reading this that you are most probably saying, why the hell didn’t George have a collar and a tag. Trust me, I bloody tried for months with George; I bought every collar available, and I persevered for many weeks with each collar, and for every bloody moment George wearing a collar, he would rub and rub his neck until it was sore. Peter and Jeremy have collars, yet Steve, no, Steve can only wear a cat collar, what with being so small, and he was always putting his paw in it, and he nearly died a few times, so I removed it. Kev, what with being the size of a mouse, can wear a collar; however, it is dangerous for him. Plus a tag for a dog of Kev’s size, you would need a magnifying glass to read the phone number.

Chinese and Kindness

Gosh, another day had nearly passed, and as I sat in my house on the floor looking at George’s huge orange blanket, obviously still replying to messages: “Thank you for your kind words, and no, I haven’t found George.” My phone started ringing………….. It was Gary: “On the way, open the gates in 5, I have a Chinese takeaway.” “Cool beans, I am starving,” I said. I hung up and then cried and cried, as to how lovely is everyone being to me.

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🌈 Still waiting for a sign? This rainbow photo plaque is a tribute to the bond that never disappears. Gentle, colourful, and made to honour a love that storms can't wash away.