Our Julie Tells Me Off (Chapter 30)

Orders, Complaints, and a False Alarm

It’s Monday again, uufff, so many orders, so many complaints, and the usual question: “Where is my order?” Seriously why do people ask me that when I have sent them tracking details. I absolutely love it when they email me such questions without even giving me their order number or name, and the email address is like Tinkerbell or Eagleman. As I was packing my orders, my landlord popped in, a lovely man; he seriously is a lovely man. I rented my house from him when I first moved to Spain and now my warehouse. He never put the rent up once and was always there for me. When I was looking to buy a house, I told him when I find somewhere is it ok just to give you a couple of months’ notice; he was fine with that. I gave him some posters, and he was generally concerned for me.

Could have been due to the fact that I had lost a couple of stone in weight and aged by at least 10 years.

I waited for TNT and then headed home. My phone started ringing, it was my landlord: “Christine, go quickly to La Trocha your dog is there,” he shouted in such fast Spanish. “Gracias estoy en camino,” I said. Yes, I went, and yes, it was the La Trocha dog. I phoned him back, I thanked him and then I sent him the pictures of the La Trocha dog and George.

Throughout all the people calling me about the La Trocha dog, I still felt guilty for them as they really believed it was George.

Posters, Drones, and Gordon’s Support

Now back at home, Gordon messages: “You want me to drive, and we put up posters today?” “Yes, please, in about 2 hours. As of now, I am making a poster to put every Sunday on the spot where supposedly George was put in a van,” I replied.

Hhhmmm, how do I make a poster? Then I decided to staple posters all over 2 pallets, yes, they will just fit in my car, and at least they won’t blow away. So, that is what I did, and then after stapling them all, I covered them in sellotape in case of rain. Why the hell I chose 2 of the heaviest pallets in the world! I will never know.

That now done, I started checking my messages, “Drone you need a drone call this number he has 2 drones,” someone had typed. Hmmm good idea so I phoned the number. After a long conversation with a very nice man that was happy to drive 40 minutes to me, I decided against it. Basically, it would involve me looking at hours of footage, and if George was under a tree or a cat was running in a field, I would be wasting my time.

Clues, Gates, and Gordon’s Help

BEEP BEEP, that was Gordon outside the gate. Off we went, Gordon drove, and for the next 2 hours, I siliconed poster after poster on anything that was solid. Probably totally illegal, yet I never got caught.

All the time my phone was bleeping, our Julie was finding out the exact colour of the van, then a photo came through of a pair of legs, just the legs yet in a strange colour of blue tights. “Christine, the van was this colour,” messaged our Julie.

I mean, you had to laugh at a pair of tights; however, Julie was sending this lady all colours of vans, and then our Julie received the pictures from this lady. Our Julie always is factual and sent me what she received. So, now we know what colour yet not the make or model.

Gordon and I were still putting up posters, and as he was driving, I was reading all the messages, and one particular message stood out: houses with big gates near villa franco bla bla bla has many dogs, they may have him. “I know the house. Gordon, take me there next, please,” I said.

I think at this point, Gordon had thought I had lost the plot as I didn’t just put one poster on the gate; I put over 20 and threw some over their gate. Total respect to them as a few days later, driving past their gate, they still had kept one on their gate.

Next message I read: “I live opposite to where George was put in the van, please put a poster on our gate.” So, off we went, don’t worry, I only put one poster on their gate.

Exhaustion and Doubts

Poor Gordon, I knew he thought that there is no point in searching anymore, yet he carried on for me. He truly is a real mate.

He then took me for a meal, and even in the bar, he continued to encourage me to give out posters while we were there. It was time to call it a day, and Gordon dropped me home.

Dogs all fed, and me full from dinner with Gordon, I sat with a cup of tea and began looking through all the messages. Kerry had been great in replying to them all, yet then I noticed on WhatsApp our wedding dress group, it was Kerry, Maxine, Claudia and me.

“Hi girls, I am out on Thursday; I will land at 9pm, so excited to see you all,” Kerry had typed.

“Whoop whoop, can’t wait, so I have booked us into 3 shops on Friday; mum is picking you both up,” Maxine typed.

“How exciting, can’t wait to see you and be there when we find your perfect dress,” typed Claudia.

The Call and Julie’s Warning

Oh my god, now I need to type something, how, what do I type, shit, I just sat there staring at the messages. I couldn’t type anything, coward’s way out, you might say, yet I was reading the girls message away and felt so much comfort that Claudia and Maxine were sorting all the appointments. I then phoned Kerry. “That’s great that Maxine has sorted it all and that Claudia is driving; as you know me, I would never find the places,” I said. “You ok mum to pick me up from the airport?” she asked. “Of course, my darling, I so can’t wait to see you,” I said. We said our goodbyes on the phone, and I then just sat there and sobbed, I know I can do this; I have to. A mum’s job is the hardest job in the world, as every mum knows.

So, sitting there sobbing, the phone siren started ringing, “Hello,” I said. “I have just seen your dog in the exact place that he was seen being put into a van,” he said. “Seriously? What? Right now?” I asked. “Yes,” he said.

Dogs in, doors locked, and I was on my way. It is about a 3 minute drive from my house, I parked up, it was dark. “George, George,” I screamed, then it was whistle after whistle. I then got back into my car and phoned our Julie to tell her.

“Christine, lock your car doors all of them and get away now, NEVER EVER DO THIS, they could be trying to rob you attack you,” she shouted.

I threw my phone down, locked the doors and drove off so fast. My heart was beating so fast, the 3-minute drive home felt so long, and all the way home, my phone was ringing; I couldn’t answer, I couldn’t stop.

Breaking Down

“You ok?” Julie said. “Yes, sorry I couldn’t answer as I was driving home like a mad woman,” I said. Then our Julie really told me off.

As I sat there on the sofa looking at the dogs, I began to cry, cry like I had never cried before. Oh my god, it has been 4 weeks; my beautiful baby is gone, lost. No one could possibly understand. I knew that deep down, everyone wanted me to give up to accept that George was gone; he was gone forever. How could I accept it, though, without a body?

I started to feel so angry. I hated the world; I hated everything. I am sorry to say that I stood up and I let out the biggest scream and I actually shouted the word F… I shouted it out again and again, and then I sat down and looked at the dogs and felt a little silly.

“What?” I said to the dogs. Then I gave them all a cuddle and started saying, “Silly mummy.”

Total Collapse and a Glimpse of Light

I then took all the dogs outside, and it was so dark; I had no idea of the time, no idea of what day it was and I just felt so lost, so alone, and I had given up. I can’t actually put into words as to how lost I was. I had nobody in the world that actually understood how I was feeling.

Like a complete lunatic, I started walking around the garden sobbing, then screaming. F… F… F… I had no idea what to do next. I had totally hit a brick wall.

I am now going to lower myself and admit to what I did next. I just sat on the sofa, and all the dogs jumped up and sat next to me….. I told them all off, yes I did, I told them all to F… Off. I did. Please don’t hate me for that.

The thing is, this didn’t make me feel any better and sitting there all night feeling so disgusted with myself hurt so bad that I got actual cramps in my stomach.

The Day After: Collapse into Routine

The sun was now rising, and basically, I don’t think that any of us got any sleep. I put the kettle on and then sat at my computer, and like a robot, I inputted my orders and gave everyone their tracking details. I then messaged TNT and said that I had no orders for today, yes, another lie. I then fed the dogs and just flopped on the sofa. My phone started bleeping away; I totally ignored it, every message.

I actually wanted to smash my phone up, uufff the thought of smashing it, stamping on it uuuufff, yet then obviously reality kicked in, nope you need it for work.

So, today was Tuesday, for a change it was raining, and today I had lost it, yes, I had lost the plot.

A Strange Kind of Relief

Oh, I had lost the plot as my next thing to do was speak to the dogs “Right boys, if we can lie to all the customers, we can lie to everyone else, mummy is staying at home today with you, we will drink wine and dance all day and eat sausages, yes we have sausages.” Oh yes, I said that. So, I messaged Kerry and said that I am out all day on a long hike, so please deal with my phone, and that is what we did, yes, all day, and all day long, I ignored my phone.

I will never forget that day; it truly was a day that we all needed, the tears were still there, yet the smiles and laughter were there also. I mean, I hate the song “Who let the dogs out,” yet Steve barks and barks at it. We all danced; ok, the dogs didn’t actually dance, yet they watched me and kind of joined in. For the first time in 4 weeks, they had their mummy back.

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