I Bring George Home : (Chapter 47)

Sunday markets and familiar faces

Just because I had written that Facebook post, it didn´t mean that I wouldn´t carry on, it was now Sunday, and there I was loading my car with the pallets, I swear that they were getting heavier. Before you knew it, I was back at the market it was 10 am and there I was walking around handing out the posters. It was a different feeling now, I was able to say hello to people and by now all the stall holders recognized me and they were all so happy to take my posters, one stall that was selling furniture had a poster on every item of furniture, what was odd though is that the dog charity stall would never allow me to leave a poster or a board near their stall.

I didn´t stay today until the end of the market, I left around 1 pm and on my way home, I just had to go and look at the dead body again. The smell now was horrific so holding my noise, I just kept staring, and over and over in my head all I could keep saying was “Is it you George,” tears ran down my cheeks, and then I drove back home to my boys.

Messages, beers and small comforts

The sun was shining, and as we were sitting outside, I read a message “Hi please just leave your pallet posters there, we all don´t mind.”

Wow, this was from someone that I had never met. I was leaving them there every Sunday and popping back Sunday nights to collect them, hoping the people that worked there would never notice.

Don´t judge me, yes this was a kind gesture, very kind indeed yet as soon as I read the message all I could think was……… what a result I can now have a beer.

As I looked at my phone, there was no message to be seen, thankfully gone were the days of the constant “any news……have you found George.” I could see that Kerry was still thanking people for sharing as she was dealing with Facebook messenger, yet impossible for her to take over my WhatsApp.

The beers were going down nicely, and dogs all fed. I cooked myself a large bowl of pasta yet with an actual sauce, not pasta with pasta, the music was on and then I disturbingly went back to looking at the photos of the body. Before I knew it, I was off with the fairies.

Another Monday and more messages

Gosh, it was Monday again. Today, the orders were all silly little ones; as I inputted each silly little order, I decided that today I would take back control of my Facebook messenger and relieve Kerry, I needed to read everything. Kind of wished that I hadn´t as the next thing I read was shocking: “Small dogs are being picked up from the streets thrown into a van and taken for dog fight bate.”

I did read everything and I won´t write about everything as it´s not what this is all about, some people are so very cruel yet thankfully, the majority are absolutely wonderful.

Posters, exhaustion, and heartbreaking dreams

I spent the next few days totally head muddled and apart from meeting TNT and replying to my emails, obviously feeding and taking care of my boys. Yes, for some strange reason walking into the campo to where the photos were taken and before I knew it, it was Thursday. “Christine, the posters arrive tomorrow, so I will come and pick you up in 5 and show you where we will put them all Saturday night and Sunday morning,” Said Claudia.

As I sat in the car and Claudia was so enthusiastic, shit she had really thought about this, all I could do was nod and say great place. Claudia dropped me home and I just dropped to the floor and sobbed my heart out.

Round and round it went in my head………. I think the body is George. It is such a strange feeling as no one else did think it was him. I fell asleep on the sofa and had the most wonderful dream: George was sleeping with me, as I woke up, I literally had to double-check.

Friday doubts and difficult plans

Today was now Friday and I just couldn´t function, I was so confused and lost and the thought of putting these massive posters up all over Coin was wrong if the body is actually George. I knew that today was the day I needed to decide.

So, I was back to studying decompose and chips that don´t read, plus staring at all the photos, then come Friday evening. I sent Claudia a message, “Do you think you are brave enough to get that dead dog with me tomorrow near Miramonte, it will be hard and crispy by now, I need to chop it up to see if there is a chip.”

“I might be sick over your shoes but if you don´t mind, I can do it” she replied.

With that I fell asleep knowing that finally tomorrow I would have an answer as I was there when the chip was put inside George.

The longest night before dawn

When I say I fell asleep, yes, I did yet as fast as I fell asleep, I was awake again, waiting for the first light. Dogs fed I was off, I had my shovel in the car and a bucket, and don´t ask why but a fork not a gardening fork but a dinner fork. “On way” I messaged Claudia.

The discovery and the decision

As we parked up a walked across the road, for some reason, we started talking about the posters, we soon stopped talking as we approached the body……….. uuuffff hard and crispy no, the smell was so intense that we did a double back step.

Claudia holding her nose said “Yes it looks like George.” I knew that there was no way we could shovel this up and put it in my car in a bucket, the back end was so sloppy.

So off we went, as I dropped Claudia off, she simply looked at me and said “Christine, whatever you decide to do, just tell me.”

As I got home my heart was racing, why can´t anyone tell me if it is George. I am not sure if anger is the correct word yet I started typing into the find George group.

If I rip the jaw off the dead dog, could a vet tell me the dog's age?

2 people left the group after I typed that, shocking. So then I tried to keep the messages kind of tame. So why are the teeth white? George’s weren´t that white. I was screaming out to this group and then finally someone replied “Do you want us to come with you Christine with a box and give our opinion.”

“Yes please,” I replied.

Oh, dear then I started sending pictures of the dead dog on the group page, 2 more people left the group. Yes, they were disturbing pictures.

“Christine we are on our way to the body, we have a shovel and a box, by the way this is Gyll and Gavin messaging just in case you didn´t know.”

The box, the grave, and the goodbye

As we all stood around the body Gyll said “In your heart of hearts do you think it´s George.”

I sobbed my answer: I think I am in denial, I don´t know, but I do know that every marking is exactly the same as George and there isn´t one thing apart from the chip not reading to suggest that isn´t him.

I had to walk away crying and I knew, shit I so had to make the decision now. As I paced up and down thinking that if I don´t end this if I don´t put this body to rest, I will spend the next few years basically ruining all the lives of everyone close to me.

“It´s George” I declared. “You go home, Christine and we will put him in the box, as I watched Gyll get the box from their car, I was amazed at how pretty the box was, it had green and pink flowers on it, it was made from plastic and had a pretty lid.

My drive home hurt physically, it so hurt my heart was literally in my mouth. As I drove in the gates I knew I had to message Claudia, she had spent literally hundreds of euros on the posters that we were supposed to be putting up tonight. Claudias reply was simply “If you need me just message.”

Gyll and Gavin arrived around 15 minutes after me, I was so shocked when Gavin walked in with the box, uuuuffff so what happens now I thought.

“Tomorrow morning, we will be round to dig the grave for you, so tonight you sit and have a think of where,” said Gyll.

They were so kind, they offered to stay with me, yet I needed to be on my own; Gavin put the box in the shed and as they left we all had tears rolling down our cheeks.

The secret garden and the long night

As they drove off, I walked down to my secret garden, basically it´s a garden I made which is very hidden, no one knows it´s there. I spent 3 years making it. I knew this is where the grave would be instantly.

I shouted all the dogs, “Come with mummy to the secret garden.” As I sat on the bench, the dogs all went for a sniff and a wee.

I could see exactly the right spot, yet now it was getting dark; as we went back up to the house, I just couldn´t bring myself to go inside. I did have intentions of going to bed as I cleaned my teeth and put my pajamas on. Yet then I went back outside and I sat at the table just willing for it to be tomorrow.

Our Julie then messaged, “Christine I just don´t know what to say.” I then gave her a call and explained how I understood that no one is clear because of the no-chip yet how it is my call.” Our Julie doesn’t judge and she is 100% loyal, an amazing lady.

Hour after hour I spent staring at every photo of the body and every photo of George alive and the night went so quickly, it was now getting first light and off I went with my shovel and wheelbarrow, yes still wearing my pyjamas. I did, however, put my work boots on.

It was strange as I knew Gavin had offered to dig the grave, however, I knew it was something that I had to do myself, a kind of respect, yes sounds silly but maybe that is just me, so dig is what I did, and blimey did I dig, it was barrow after barrow and I kept going until I was standing in the hole.

The sun was now fully up and I fed the dogs and went for a much-needed shower and for some reason, I put my best frock on.

The final goodbye

“What time” said Gyll and Gavin” then Claudia messaged the same.

“10 am,” I replied.

What I did next is something that I can´t explain; I went into the shed and took the lid off of the box, the smell was like a rotten backfire, it was something that no one should ever experience, how the hell I got the lid back on I will never know. Suppose I just needed one last look.

I was in such shock and I had exhausted all my friend's kindness and it was at this moment that I decided to message the man that had shared every post for Mr George:

Hi I am having a total nightmare we found a dead dog and it´s quite decomposed but it has every fur marking of George right down to his white nail on his back-left paw. No chip, police checked and vet, I think it´s him, William.

Oh Christine, I am so very sorry, what can I say, I am here for you if you need to talk or cry.

I have just dug a hole and a lovely couple came with me yesterday to put him in a box, they are coming at 10am to show me what to do with the lime, I really believe that it´s George even though there is no chip, it was a quick death as very squashed, so maybe the chip broke, what is breaking my heart is knowing he was out there lost in all those storms, I will write something for Facebook later or tomorrow, as I can´t write FOUND as we can´t be sure that he really is George (Gosh this is terrible).

You are very brave lady. I have said a prayer for both of you. Maybe it´s best for you to believe it´s Mr George. You have a lot of love and support and we are always there for you whatever time of day or night. Sending lots of hugs and love.xx

Bang on 10 am Claudia turned up and so did Gyll and Gavin, it was so strange as there I was in my best frock and there they were, Claudia holding a heart shaped olive topiary tree and Gyll a very pretty pink rose bush.

Shit this was a real funeral, they even asked me if I wanted to say a few words.

As Gavin carried the box down I followed carrying all of George’s bits, Gavin put the box in the ground and I put in his rainbow collar that Kerry had got him, plus the tag, his army harness and lead, his jumper, his Arthur daily coat and his thick baby quilt.

I was asked again if I wanted to say anything, “no, thank you for coming” that was the best I could do. It was so bloody awkward and then Gavin started filling in the grave. He planted the heart olive tree and the rose plant.

It then became even more awkward as we all sat around the table, I could tell that no one knew what to do next, so I just came out with it: I need to make a Facebook post doesn´t I? Claudia, could you please take all the posters with you and throw them in the bin” I said.

The conversation became odd, as everyone understood that the body might not be George, so calling it off could be a mistake.

Hell, as if I didn´t know this, yet it had been 9 weeks and my complete world had been destroyed, they knew it was my decision and as they all left, not willingly as they were all worried about me, yet I needed to think.

The post and the prayer

That’s actually not true I needed to message this stranger again who kept sharing Mr George. So as soon as they all had left I began messaging him.

I am so lucky at the couple that turned up today and my best friend Claudia helped me, the hole I dug was of the perfect size, the man put lime in it and we put all of George’s things in even his Arthur daily coat, we put his quilt on top, it´s 9 weeks today. It´s him, I have also read that some dogs go off to die, my George wouldn´t want me to see him die (uuuffff this journey though if only he knew). Thank you for all of the support you have given me. Xxxxx.

“Hey hun, you are so worth it. Cats do the same, so very sad for you, go forward and take Mr George in your heart. He will always be with you. Contact me if you are sad or down or just want to chat. May your Angels be with you.xx” he typed.

“Thank you” I replied. “Wish I could bring him back for you. xx” he typed.

“I am now going to try and write something for Facebook, as people need to know, then I think I will go for a little sleep. xx” I typed

“OK hun, rest and you will awake refreshed ready for your new journey. Don´t worry for Mr George he will be looked after till you meet again.xx” he replied

It was the 22nd of April 2018 at 12:48pm that I wrote this and posted it on Facebook:

“9 Weeks ago, today.”

Realisation and farewell

Today I believe that I buried my beautiful George, who went missing nine weeks ago today.

Four weeks ago, today, I was at the Sunday Market with my missing George posters and a very kind Spanish man took me to a sighting of a dog that had been run over. This dog has every fur marking of George and it also has the same white nail on the left-back paw. The only thing that made me doubt that this is George is NO CHIP and clean white teeth.

For four weeks I kept going back and yesterday I realized that he is my beautiful George. Vets have said that the teeth are too young, the fur is too fluffy, but in my heart, I know it´s him, it´s my George.

George was so protective of me, and I believe that my little buddy my beautiful George went off to die. He had so much respect for me that I can see how he went off on his own to die. (Little did he realise by doing this that I have spent the last nine weeks going through an unbelievable nightmare).

Teeth in prolonged sunshine will become white, and all the golden past that I was feeding him did make his fur go so fluffy.

Today I was not alone, 3 amazing people in my life helped me to give George the best send-off. He was buried with his rainbow collar, his tag, his little harness and lead, his jumper, his Arthur Daily coat and his baby quilt was laid on top.

I am so sorry that it took me 4 weeks to realise that the little body was my George. (he did always like to be the centre of attention).

Thank you, x.

The end of a long journey

So yes, this is the end of a very long journey, just a couple of things to add: The La Trocha dog was never seen again, I never found out who opened my bottom gates and I actually slept in my bed that night and for every night ever since.

The End

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